The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
