just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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