you traded sex for a burrito?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
