I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She announced her abortion via fbk
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
