the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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