Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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