this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
