WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
