What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He felt like a one man threesome
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
