We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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