I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
