I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
