hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
