another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
