Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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