Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
