Dual....:-)
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
