the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
