insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
