Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
