i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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