shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
where are my eyebrows?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
