I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
