So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
