ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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