I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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