I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
