Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
