their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
