Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
