What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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