she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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