So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Randomize
