I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have post one night stand depression
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
