I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
