dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
