Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
