Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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