You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
