That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
