: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need a beard to bite.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
