It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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