I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
