I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
