omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
