I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
