so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
