im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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