Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
