you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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